12/12/2012

DON HUGO, AN UNEMPLOYED KNIGHT



My name is Hugo, yet I have no last name because I am waiting to be adopted, D. Hugo you can call me since I am a true gentleman, I am living in an animal shelter which is all inclusive, I have a room with the best view, daily room service and lots of extras, several times a week I get my walks and my groomings and my favourite treat: first at the snout, then my earsies and when I feel like I’m really in charge of things I lay down for a good belly rub and a body massage.
Here I live a very relaxed life, but I've been here far too long as well and would like to leave more often,  know other places, travel, see other faces, do other things, especially getting more exercise because this comfortable living has its drawbacks, and in recent years I've put on  a couple of extra pounds that with a few good walks, games and a lower calorie diet could be lost without problems. The other day I heard them say about two dog girls living here in the shelter that they looked like a barrel and I didn’t like that, I think it’s not so bad to say this about myself but I am a handsome dog, very handsome indeed and I always take care of my body and fur very very well, and the truth is I don’t like seeing myself as a barrell, but in my situation what can I do? Now that I am unemployed I can spend much time at this, you can laugh but I am a real knight, I am a conqueror, I have made many dogs mad and conquered quite a few but by now they know my tricks and it’s getting boring, so I need to get to out to know other ladydogs I can butter up with my charms, many years ago I was one of the best in the field, it took me very little to have a lady swoon at my feet, a look, a few sweet words, a shy rubbing, such sweet memories...

I approached them slowly and saluted them: - Hi there precious, haven’t seen your around here before, would you like to go for a walk with me?, my name is Hugo and I live around here, I have a weakness for beautiful women such as you, with that beautiful coat and this gait that drives me crazy, I’d like to get to know you better, if you want to we can spend some time tonight, we will  wander and we will talk lying on the grass under the light of the stars, let me get to know you better, you will not regret. Then  I would approach them and whisper in their ear: - You will wait for me the rest of my life – carefully rubbing their leg so they would feel a shiver all over their body,  dropped little pats on them and was sure to get a smile from ear to ear and for the night they would be there for our appointment and willing to enjoy my doggy charms. In my neighbourhood I had a record of conquests and the envy of all the other machos who where neither as handsome nor as professional and successful as me. 
Several years now I have been unemployed and I'd like to exercise but for that I need to leave the shelter, please someone come for me, take me with you, give me the opportunity to show how much I'm worth because I am a precious dog and when you take to the streets around the world people will step up telling the owner how handsome I am, making that owner feel proud of having such  a beautiful dog with each step we take: - Wow!  Such a beautiful dog, so precious, what’s is name? – is what they will say.
In addition I must be back to my work and I hope that if you want to get to know me, make use of this opportunity by visiting the Scooby Shelter at PolĂ­gono los Llanos in Zamora, I will gladly receive you there, ask for D. Hugo, we will have a talk and surely we can reach an agreement which will require certain commitments by both parties, I will vow to be a good dog, educated, sweet, clean and sociable as any self-respectible Knight would be, I promise I will be defending my home and my owner with my life if necessary, to be by your side in good and bad times,  to disturb as little as possible and bark only when strictly necessary, to be grateful for your care, to greet you in good spirits when you come home from work after a long day, to respect your space and your things and always willing to obey you and above all I promise to be your most faithful friend the rest of my life, in return all I ask from the person who decides to adopt me to give me the care I require to have a dignified life, that let me continue my career, finally there is an essential mutual commitment in which the two of us pledge not to abandon another, ever.
Now all I hope for is that someone will decide they need me in their life, don’t wait too long to decide because this is an unique opportunity, a once in a lifetime shot, and I will be waiting for you.